Thoughts, Grievances, & Sexual Frustrations

I had a relationship going and that ended. I was working three jobs, and I still am... and it sucks. I'm living with friends and that's tons of fun. I don't know... it's just been wild.

To sum everything up quickly before I have to run to work would be hard so I'm just gonna give you a few details and ramble on. I'm currently reading A Million Little Pieces which is a fantastic read.  I haven't been drawing much, but I will be, and I will go hiking and take photos soon. I have some great new photos I need to post on my portfolio soon too.

I've realized that in life the word's a person speaks to you, are absolutely meaningless. They can speak of love, and forevers, and happy endings, but their actions should be the only thing that you let communicate with you. What they do, how they do it, when and where they do it. These things will speak truth to you. Recently I learned a person who said some very nice things to me, didn't mean them at all, or at least... didn't have the courage to mean them. Either way, I'm back to writing and venting to you people. 

I apologize in advance,
Michael

 I just was taken to see a film I was not exactly stoked to see. But, you know... when you're broke as a god damn joke and rarely... if ever... get out of the house, you just don't turn down free movies. Well I'm here to tell you, you should very much so turn down free movies from time to time. Especially when it's fucking Dragonball: Evolution! Oh my god! It was sooooo wrong. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a tight assed nerd where every detail must be correct. But I grew up watching that show as my after school guilty pleasure dammit, the least they could do is get one single detail correct... and my I mean ANY SINGLE DETAIL. IT WAS ALL WRONG! Not one thing was right, I was so mad! It was like someone took my childhood and set it on fire. Good lord.

Things I could be heard saying during and after the said crap fest:
"THAT IS NOT HOW IT HAPPENS!"
"This makes no sense at all"
"You must be kidding me..."
"What the fuck did I just watch?"
"That movie actually makes it burn when you pee!"
"It was like my soul got raped, and then the video of said act was posted on youtube where it became an internet phenomenon. It was so big, that the star wars kid even took pity on my poor poor soul and came to hit it in the crotch with an ice cold sledgehammer because it was even lamer than him and must be put out of its misery."

Seriously, they got every detail of the story wrong. Don't see that movie... even if it's free. It just furthers my theory that every film with the words "Evolution", "Extreme", and "X" at the end of it's title are guaranteed pure crap.

In other news - New Photos at Http://lephotagdeabnormal.deviantart.com - (click to full view)

 (Click to view)



Love Always,
Michael

So I recently invested in a little calendar/organizer thing called a Dayminder. It's essentially a tiny spiral bound notebook with a calendar in it, where you organize your days and schedule and such. I've bought, I'd say around seven of these sort of things and never once used one more than a day... until now. It's insane how much more accomplished you feel when you actually schedule your days out. I get everything I want to get done totally and completely finished most days. I never forget to handle anything that needs to be taken care of, and I get to have fun color coding my days. I know, at least for me, organization isn't always a priority. It could be the way my brain works, since as I understand it, artists tend to have more cluttered living spaces, brains, and organizational skills. But, it is really turning my life around, I schedule everything from hikes, to work outs, to interviews, and job hunting, to my job itself. It's great.

Plus the other nice thing is now, if you ask me what I did the other day, I wrote it down. It's like a very technical diary almost. I dunno, I recommend it for anyone who is trying to change their life for the better or attempting to get in shape, or in my case, both. I lift weights every other day, job two miles the other days, and occasionally throw in a hike, some agility training, or simple squats, sit-ups, and push-ups through out the day. It's not the most amazing system in the world, granted, but it does give me more vitality, more energy, and I am thinning out more and more. 

The other great thing is, I always wanted to be more productive with my art work, my photography, and my writing, and because of this I have been. I have finished multiple episodes of a web series that Chubs and Chalmers is working on. They're all scripted and ready to go. I have a huge stack of finished art work for my portfolio, that I'm going to be working on in the coming weeks as money is getting less and less tight. I also have started a photography profile and will be blogging more often too. I'm really into the idea that hard work is the only way to get ahead, and over the coming months you'll see that I'm working the hardest I ever have in my life. I figure at this point, I'll sleep when I'm dead, retired, or forced to by a medical practitioner.

Anywho, new cartoon today, new photos to come.

Check it  (Click to view in detail)- 



Much love guys,
Michael

Answer: Very very busy.

I've been hiking, working, job hunting, creating, and writing. It's a lot to do, but totally been keeping my brain on happy mode.
I'd write out some heartfelt lovey-dovey stuff for ya'll but I'm going hiking to take some sunrise photos in a few hours and wanna finish all my prep work and relax with some streaming TV shows, so I will give you the bare bones update of what I have been up to whilst I have been missing. 

For starters I wrote the second issue of my article series which you can find HERE: http://news.deviantart.com/article/75730/

For seconders I started a photography account on DeviantART which you can find HERE: http://lephotagdeabnormal.deviantart.com/

Here's some pictures from the account I may not have posted here in the past (please click them to see them and click them again once they open to full view them, I would highly recommend full viewing the first one to get the real feel of it) -

I realized just recently, that not too long ago I felt really blessed. I was always busy, had stuff to do all the time, and was surrounded by friends. I don't feel that way anymore.

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, because I'm not, I have no one to blame but myself. I've just noticed that I don't hear from the few friends I have who live around here anymore, and I dunno if that's because I'm kind of broke and don't go out anymore, or because I've spent so much time working on myself lately... or what. But I do know that I feel like the people I still maintain a close relationship with have all sprawled out in different directions. My best friend lives like an hour and a half or so away, and I'm too broke to visit him and he's too busy to visit often. My other best friend is about the same distance away for most of the week, I will admit I feel less lonely when he is in town though.

Meanwhile the other people who I've come to be really close with are either super busy, concentrating on their relationships, don't call me back very often, or live in another state. I feel kind of bummed and lonely about it, but I guess what I really want is to be active and busy again, to have people around me...

I dunno, it'd be nice though.

Much love,
Michael 

Please give it a read! 

It can be found here: news.deviantart.com/article/73870/ 

Love always,
Mike

P.S. I will give you guys a less lame update tomorrow, I swear it.

"You people don't understand. I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me!"
Watchmen ruled. 

ALSO! I'm stoked that Role Models is coming out on DVD!! Yay for LARPING!
-Mike

For Funzies!! I get the impression this is supposed to be the soundtrack to a movie based on the life of the quiz taker!:

1. Open your music library
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press Play
4. For the first question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the Next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool... just type it in, man!


Opening Credits:
Bows + Arrows - The Walkmen

Waking Up:
Lover I Don't Have To Love - Bright Eyes

First Day at School:
The Pledge (DJ Goo Remix) - Saul Williams

Falling in Love:
Tallulah - Sonata Arctica

Losing Virginity:
Lullaby - The Cure

Fight Song:
Escape Pod For Intangibles - Hopesfall

Breaking Up:
Disintegration - The Cure

Prom:
On and On and On - ABBA

Life:
Substance Abuse - Atmosphere

Mental Breakdown:
My Love Is Killing Me - The Red Elvises

Driving:
Work This - MC Hammer

Flashback:
Holiday - The Get Up Kids

Getting Back Together:
Around The Fur - Deftones

Wedding:
Blood - Sons & Daughters

Birth of Child:
Illumination - Thievery Corporation

Final Battle:
Bring The Pain - Mindless Self Indulgence

Death Scene:
Vasoline - Stone Temple Pilots

Funeral Song:
I'm Da Man (Part Deux) - Psyche Origami



I have to say that is the most schizophrenic mix of music ever... That film would give me a headache. I'm not sure what that says about me, haha.

-Mike

Tell me how all you are. Or an interesting fact about yourselves. I'd love to know. I think this could be fun. Hit me with whatever you've got. Limericks, Jokes, Stories, Emotions, Quick Updates, Fancy Facts. I'll be waiting!

Love Always,
Mike

P.S. New Cartoon (Click to see full image):
 

Where to start? Where to start?

I'll keep things up beat and mellow for you guys today. For starters I just drew a picture of a grilled cheese sandwich. Haha. I haven't even looked at my phone all day, and probably won't tomorrow. It's nice, being free to just cartoon and worry about myself for awhile. I'm going hiking on tuesday again and taking some photos, which should be a blast. I also may be doing a shoot this week that I actually planned out, I'm hella stoked about it! I've never planned a concept and executed it before in the medium of photography, and while this will likely mean that it will fall short of what I see in my head when I close my eyes, it will still be something I wanted to shoot, and something I wanted to see, coming to life from my hands. Hopefully it doesn't suck too hard, haha. But if it does... fuck it, who cares? I'm working on more cartooning and making decent progress on my screenplay. I also think I will bring my camera to work on weds or thurs or both and take some photos of my animal friends so you guys can get an idea of what I do. I gotta run it by the boss though. Work is just amazing, it's cool because I never have upset customers, the dogs are my customers and they're always happy with me, as long as they get treats, naps, and playtime. I'll be damned if it isn't the most relaxing thing I've ever done, and when you add in all the productive work I've been doing and all the exercise I've been getting lately it's really changing my outlook and my attitude.

Didn't think I'd be saying this, or at least not this soon, but... getting fired was really good for me. But I still am not fond of how it was handled, haha. But fuck them, it's totally their loss! :-)

What else? What else?

I've sold a large amount of my possessions and furniture as I don't have the room to store them anymore and when I move back out I will just have to buy some new stuff. I went wine tasting in Napa with my family for my grandmother's birthday. I had an amazing time as always. Ate at Bouchons which is always delicious, and their oyster bar always impresses me. I also went wine tasting and ended up rolling through Silver Oak and Domaine Chandon. I got home drained and happy from that.

I think that's the sum of everything for the time being.

OH! The new P.O.S. album is absolutely, punch me in the face fantastic! The album is called, "Never Better" and it really lives up to the name. But, I guess you can't expect much less from any artist on Rhyme Sayers. They have Atmosphere, Felt, P.O.S., Brother Ali, Soul Position, Abstract Rude, & MF Doom after all. A fantastic label. This is definitely a jewel of a disc though. Really uplifting and intellectual and stimulating. Hip hop at it's finest. 

Here's some lyrics to prove it:

"Purexed" - P.O.S. (Never Better)

Im trying not to slip/ been trying not to lose footing/ 
Loose land keeps the pressure on my kicks/ 
and when I fall I tend to land like a ton of bricks/ 
stand like a man made of concrete and sediment like/ f
uck your skin nobody needs it theres/ Bones and muscles and blood/ 
Whats realer than fat and tendons?/ 
Its raw no soft tissue to draw your eyes to it so far flesh aint the truest at all lets rip into it/ 
Were all sick of them missed shots/ 
passed over like the last man picked no team so pissed off/ 
and/ thats not honesty/ 
thats just soft curves got your world flipped/ 
got you makin mixtapes for girls/ 
and thats the skin again/ 
lets blame the skin again/ stretching itself so fluidly over these awkward/ ligaments/ 
and I didnt shave today/
I prolly wont tomorrow and its safe to say Im never gonna shed this extra (yeah)/ 

Chorus: 
So fuck it back to the wall/ 
crush it/ laugh at em all/ 
hush/ let em try to find the beauty in your face/ 
something more than a song/ 
they hatin? Aw come on/
dust/ let em try to find the beauty in the bassline/ 
aw but then them words dont change/ 
we wont sing with what will fade away/ 
yeah we do our own damn thing/ 
we dont blink at what tomorrow might bring (at all)/ 

Aw but then them words they dont change/ 
we wont sing with what will fade away/ 
yeah we do our own damn thing/ 
we dont blink at what tomorrow might bring (at all)/ 

Verse 2
Of how tomorrow might sting/ at all/ 
in us we trust/ no rush for bucks/ 
no sweat just enough/ them words from love/ no hits/ 
I let the track stand/ like how it was written is how it hit me/ 
or road cycle kids with the grip to skid a fixies/ 
a rouge wild kid with a stroll that let it roll/ like whatever/ 
they kick that gingivitis/ them rappers got the itis/ 
catch me bumpin Isis in a crisis/ 
instead of watchin yall count and lead sheep at the same time/ 
whats the science of that?/ 
I know the ( ) is sweet/ but where the movement at? 
We in that coma capital/ spotless home team/ 
with hands steadily purelled/ germ-exed/ 
but never quite clean/ bloody as hell rarely will I ever care (for that)/ 

Chorus x2
So fuck it back to the wall/ 
crush it/ laugh at em all/ 
hush/ let em try to find the beauty in your face/ 
something more than a song/ 
they hatin? Aw come on/ 
dust/ let em try to find the beauty in the bassline/ 
aw but then them words they dont change/
we wont sing with what will fade away/ 
yeah we do our own damn thing/ 
we dont blink at what tomorrow might bring (at all)/ 

That song has kept my head bobbing and my face smiling for about a week now.

Enjoy it guys.

Love always,
Mike

I will just be posting a quick update right now for the time being, but I will give you a more fleshed out update later today.

So here's two new pieces I've done (Click to see them on their original page in full size):

Okay, so here's the deal. I've been cartooning for like a week straight, arranging to take some time to learn under a few different photographers, arranging some ideas I wanted to shoot, and working heavily on my screenplay. It's all behind the scenes stuff, no one ever sees it, and if you did you might wonder, "Why?" "Why work so fucking hard?" "What makes this worth it?" Stuff of that nature, I would imagine, at least.

I asked myself that same question today. The answer became clear when I showed an ex of mine, someone I respect a piece of my recent work... and they said nothing. Now this is better than ripping it to shreds, but not by a whole hell of a lot. You find in life no matter how hard you try you're always jumping through god damn hurdles for those people you look up to, admire, and respect. You always want to be seen and heard... and praised. I would like to take this opportunity to say, "FUCK YOU!!! WHY WON'T YOU ACKNOWLEDGE ME LIKE YOU USED TO?!"

Ah, much much much better. You see, I don't really need her approval, for all I care, she and I could never speak again. But, for some reason I still want it. I don't know why, there are many other people who I wish would go out of their way to take one moment and to say something like, "Wow, that is really good" or "Haha, I like this". The fact that most of them either don't know this, don't see anything worth mentioning in my work, or choose not to speak up, makes me feel like a god damn two year old. The worst part is, she used to acknowledge and encourage me... Doesn't it just blow when those things drift away? You know what really blows though... never knowing if the silence is a lack of talent on your end, or a lack of communication on their end.

I guess every artist, deep deep down, is just a kid... doing a trick... trying to get people to pay attention.

-Mike

P.s. The pieces of cartooning I did this week. (Click thumbnail to be taken to them):

My entries I offered to share for the LiveJournal tenth anniversary book made it on the community! 
http://community.livejournal.com/lj_turns10/16801.html


OH! And there's a new Felt album in the works, and the Arrested Development movie has been confirmed so the world is alligned again, life is worth living, and I'm partying in your streets, naked.

Felt 3 Album Confirmations:
http://video.aol.com/video-detail/slug-interview-felt-album-3-explained/4144606973
http://laist.com/2008/10/07/laist_interview.php

Arrested Development Movie Confirmations:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxnhLdlzMeI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jq-ByQixfhQ


In other news:
The dragonball trailer makes it official, the movie is gonna blow. But that's not so much a surprise as it is a disappointment. I secretly was holding onto hope that they'd somehow defy the odds... they did not.

Oh and did you know Will Arnett played a magician very similar to GOB on sesame street?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=assDBDnZ5dU&feature=related

Enjoy the links my friends,
Mike

I could talk about love here, lack of love, or whatever else people talk about on Valentine's Day... but I really don't feel like it. I'm fighting off one of my bouts of depression and I'd really rather talk about a subject that doesn't remind me of how mundane and empty my life has been as of late. So, we're gonna talk about my recent addiction to CSI for starters. Haha, because I said so dammit. Seriously though, I recently discovered fancast.com and it's just the worst thing that could've happened because it lets me watch all the current season's episodes of CSI and the most recent episodes of many shows. I've already caught up on the original CSI and CSI: New York... now I'm getting my David Caruso on with CSI: Miami. Good lord, that man can deliver one liners. It's fairly obscene how many lines he can deliver per episode. You can always tell when one is coming cuz he either takes off or puts on his glasses, it's as if he's making fun of himself at this point... and if he isn't... I am. My all time favorite is the following:

Dr. Alexx Woods: He died hours before this accident ever happened.
Horatio Caine (Aka David Caruso): So our accident is not an accident at all.

I mean, come on, that's just a simple statement of fact, but he puts his glasses on and grizzles it out in such a fashion that you can't fucking resist it. While we're at it, it should be mentioned I have deemed CSI: New York my favorite of the three, now that William Peterson is no longer playing Gil Grissom on the original. It lost it's damn edge without Grissom, haha. Plus, I have a very minor man crush on Gary Sinise. 

Alright, alright.... I'll stop ranting about CSI and get onto the real business. For starters, I think I have only had a Valentine on Valentine's day... twice in my life, maybe one other time, if I can recall. On top of that, my Valentine's days are notoriously crappy usually. The only memorable one was last year's. Me and a bunch of friends, bought a bunch of beer, a spicy three cheese pizza, and watched the Dawn of The Dead remake. Pretty good right? Except for the fact that I passed out half way through, it was a good night. But if last year was the top of the heap, this year has to be the bottom of the metaphorical god damn barrel. No love life, and when I say no love life... I mean my dating career has been basically stale for two years now. To add to matters, I've been pretty depressed lately, sleeping a lot, uninspired, no job. My plans today are to simply clean around the house, write, watch more CSI, eat, have a beer or two, and watch the Christopher Titus stand up special on Comedy Central entitled: "Love is Evol". But, that's not to say I don't like the holiday. In fact, I quite enjoy it, I'm just not lucky in regards to it. So to all of you who have someone, have a lovely evening, and have some wild crazy red satin sheet ripping after dinner sex. I'd say think of me, but that's a little weird.

I'd be out at a bar partying it up if I had a job, and in turn money. I would also have to be out of this damn depression. I think I just fall into slumps when I lack things to do. I'm counteracting this current slump by forcing myself to write, do chores, and job hunt. Wish me luck I guess, I won't need it I don't think, this happens every time I'm unemployed or suffering from involuntary chronic boredom. Oh, and if you hear anyone say, "Fuck Valentine's Day!" it's because they're bitter, lonely, and not a lot of fun. 

Love always,
Mike

You know, I don't drink much anymore. But occasionally, I wake up, and I feel like I have a sledgehammer sticking out the back of my skull. You know? Where you wake up feeling like a stranger had his way with your skull all night long? Like your brains are all stirred around? That's when I realize I must've gone out drinkin the night before. Why do we do this to ourselves? I'm starting to honestly wonder. Drinking isn't appealing to me anymore, sure it's fun, but I feel so fucking shitty the next day, I don't think it's been worth it lately. I mean when I would drink heavily I'd wake up and feel absolutely fine, but I'd built up a tolerance and was probably doing massive internal damage. It's a weird choice isn't it? If you drink heavily the day to day hang over symptoms will dissipate but the long term damage is pretty awful by comparison. I'm sure I'll be out on the town eventually again, but if nothing else, I'm taking the rest of this week off.

Now I just gotta find a good book to read or something...

OH!! Wish me luck, I have an interview on tuesday to work with dogs at a doggy daycare facility and basically get paid to play all day.

Sounds like an effin blast to me.

-Mike

Anyone? No one else smells it? It's the undeniable scent of crazy bitch in the air! I'm telling you I know it anywhere. Grab a baseball bat and a credit card, and we should all be safe. Use the credit card to distract that crazy devil woman, then whack her over the head with the bat.

Jesus...
Women...


-Mike

Thought you guys might dig this. I did, it was a lucky catch, and I love the contrast between the bright plate and my friend Bryan coming out of the shadows. It's also neat because it's a picture of Bryan doing what he loves. He's a chef and makes amazing food, so it was a great experience helping him take photos of the lamb he made that day. It was really really fucking tasty too, just as an fyi. With all this extra down time I have, I sort of want to go out and snap some photos, but no one really seems to wanna go with me... perhaps tomorrow will be lonely photography day. Who knows?

I dunno if anyone is familiar with the show Titus which used to be on the Fox network back in the day, but I have owned the DVDs since they came out, and seen the star of the show whom it is named for, Christopher Titus, live many many times. Not only is the show funny, and not only is Mr. Titus himself hilarious, but he's also a really nice, down to earth, and cool guy. Plus, he's from the east bay like me, so I figured he deserves a shout out, that and I've been watching the shit out of my Titus DVDs lately, so it was on my mind.

Anyone catch The Office tonight? I'm really enjoying this new season. It's one of those shows that just gets funnier every year, and that is what impresses me most about it.

I watched Chasing Amy again the other day, still love it, fyi.

That's all I got for now.

Love always,
Michael

P.s. Michael Phelps smoked pot, so now I'm gonna do it too... no wait that'd be fucking stupid.

Give the guy a break.

On facebook there's this thing floating around that requires you to post 25 facts, opinions, etc about yourself. I figured since this is my most honest outlet you guys should get to see it too! Here it is: 

25) I once was punched in the face while I was sleeping, by someone I was dating at the time.
24) The only things in the world I won't eat are chocolate, peanut butter, and celery. (I'll even eat those things if I'm in an extreme pinch)
23) I complain a lot when I am at work, but secretly am a workaholic and don't know what I'd do with myself if I didn't have a job
22) I love dogs.
21) Whenever someone does the smallest nice thing for me, it totally makes my day.
20) I have over 12'000 songs in my itunes library. I have listened to each and every one of them, at least once.
19) I was secretly wanting to do one of these, they seem fun.
18) I often worry I will be asleep when something amazing finally happens around here.
17) I spent an evening listening to the sounds the wind made once, it was one of the better nights of my life.
16) I am extremely sentimental and keep boxes of little nostalgic items and have saved way too many photos over the years.
15) I think I'm way funnier than I really am.
14) Given the opportunity, I would probably eat mexican food, for every single meal.
13) I don't know what I'm going to do with my life, but I think it'll end up being worth the wait.
12) I lived in an abandoned house for two months. No furniture, just me, my mattress, my tv, and my computer. It's totally true, ask Tief, Sav, Tim, Bryan, or anyone else who came over.
11) I stopped smoking recently, I've only broken down and smoked on two occasions. I don't miss it as much as I thought I would.
10) I am legitimately afraid of enclosed spaces.
09) I really want to get a tattoo, but I don't think I'll ever have the guts to do it.
08) I own a movie called, "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter" and I actually kinda like it.
07) My favorite movie of all time is either Homeward Bound or Say Anything. It depends on the day.
06) I have extraordinarily low self esteem.
05) I drive pretty slow on the freeway ever since I got in a car accident where I hit the center divider with my car.
04) I have been known to love watching Project Runway
03) I wish I followed sports more, but I will always be a diehard 49ers fan.
02) Every time I get sick, I immediately assume it's cancer.
01) I once slept in my car, not because I didn't have a place to stay, but because I just felt like it. It was actually kind of enjoyable.


Love always,
Mike



P.s. I got fired from work on tuesday...